|Posted by Jacob Parackal on December 31, 2013 at 7:45 AM||comments (0)|
Kiski Chai Bechata Hai Tu
(Whose Tea Do You Sell)
|Posted by Jacob Parackal on September 1, 2011 at 7:25 AM||comments (0)|
TATA STEEL ACQUSITION CHANGE MANAGEMENT
Vision: Our vision is to be the global steel industry benchmark for value creation and corporate citizenship.
Keeping the vision of the company in mind, the values incorporated in the corporate culture, i.e., integrity, understanding, excellence, unity and responsibility and the principles of the founder Jameshdji Tata of giving back the wealth generated to the society, this are the few things TATA Steel group should keep in mind during the change management process with the synergy associated with the German company.
The foremost thing to be done is to bring a leadership style which suits the synergy. The German and TATA culture of working has to be synergized in order to bring a change in the acquired company. The champions need to be identified and given incentives to stick with the company and be a part of the change movement. A strategic long term planning has to be taken into consideration to make sure the strategic vision of the company is realised and the added value is generated which can be transferred to the shareholders and the society. A proper balance between cost and growth synergies has to be maintained for the company to grow, M & A involves an added value. It has to be properly captured by managing the synergies of the two companies A corporate governance ordinance should be looked upon which determines the level of governance of the companies involved, the key people who will take care of the company and the synergy. A proper role should be assigned to the all the key personnel with a time line. The hierarchy of the company should be restructured in order to suit TATA and its governance.
A joint Integration team has to be set up which decides upon the level of the integration, the consolidating of the duplicates and identifying the core competence of the company and working towards developing it. The culture of the people has to be taken care of. The German culture has to be respected and taken into account for various decisions. The Indian and the German cultures are very dissimilar there is a stronger chance of resistance from the people involved in change process. This brings a great need for definite decision, including detailed instructions from TATA. Decisions must be prepared in detail and be made at or shortly after the start of the integration with various stakeholders explicitly being included in the process.
The Stake holder has to be managed shrewdly based upon the level of their influence. A proper stake holder analysis must be done which includes all the stake holders involved including the employees, government, supply chain and even the families of the stake holders which play an important part in a change process. An aggressive target has to be laid out well in the beginning so that the company doesn’t become overly conservative and relax after the acquisition. The Company has to look at the track record of the previous employees of the target company and retain the key people and manage any conflicts of key people involved.
Another major thing that a company need to focus on is the risk management. The risk on the daily basis, during the post merger integration process has to be identified and classified based upon the severity and then dealt with it. A risk log has to be created identifying the impact of the risk and the management action to be taken in case the event occurs. A person from the integration team has to be assigned to each risk that is possible. It is also vital to see the impact and the probability of the risk and if there is a high probability of having a particular risk with a high impact, the event should be dropped which begot the risk.
|Posted by Jacob Parackal on August 17, 2011 at 9:55 AM||comments (0)|
It all began on 24 July 2006, a historic Monday with the muchanticipated orientation program by Prof. Rajendra Udupa. I can still evoke aquery by one of the over fervent about the prospects of Metallurgy andMaterials Engineering in another 4 years span. Spat came the reply from Prof, “Metalsand Materials are the back-bone of all other engineering. Prospects and aspectsyou need not worry, after all you are in the country’s top NIT”. On that verypropitious words 29 wannabe Metallurgist began the journey of life that I canfor sure say has changed the lives of each and every trekker that climbed throughcrests and trough of this crucial survival. Friends and groups were easy tomake. Gelling-time required was indeed low. Metallic bonds were to be formedwhich was to stay for life.
We were put in with the chemicals for the first year amongthe celestial presence of goddesses all around. Happiness and joy knew nobounds. After all chem boasted of having the best chicks on campus of the veryfew. NDT attempts began. Flirts, flings, flangs all began. Asking a babe outfor a dance became the ultimate precedence in life. The heat affected zone inthe class was on an all-time high. The fairer species always looked foraustenite at room temperature. Elections came and our dear Bihari was elected asthe class rowdy for the year. First year teachers neither knew the subject theywere professing about nor knew how to make the class appealing. Still canrecall the day a newly appointed Math teacher was reduced to tears due to ourover-disciplined class and so recurrent doubt sessions. We were born to knowhow to calm down a situation or were getting edified on that very aspect, afterall quenching is our forte. Bull-dog’s tronix class was all punk but no fun.Rashmi Shetty’s classes had the most figures of learners attending. Reason wellrecognized. Einstein’s papers and he becoming relative to every aspect in thisuniverse became a migraine for the fresher, for I truly believe only Einsteinunderstood what he wrote. The marking scheme always came in quarters. Moviesinspire one and all. For the starter it indeed gave me a wrong idea about how acollege would look. With inspiration from the cinematic world, dedication inour minds and fear in our hearts we organized our first mass-bunk. It was anevent which gelled us all together. The stupendous group which never have everbunked classes was in a vanguard of a civil war nope a meta war indeed.Wednesday 8-9 was Prof. Hebbar’s introduction class to metallurgy. 10 question100 marks was the set-up for his entire introduction. EG classes were all meantfor the late night glass-lamp combination. Exams came, overnight ‘sessions’began.
As sophomores we were finally moving to the department. 29metallurgists were reduced to 26. The voids left by Sri and Vyabhavi wereirreplaceable. Proof: roll-call. The classes started with Stress and Strain andnever knew would continue for the next two years. Final Outcome: still understress and strain. This year gave birth to new nick names that became thecharacter for life. Shata was elected the Class Rowdy for period. Fresher Partymeant an ‘ice-breaking’ session with our beloved seniors. Khan and Shilps wonthe competition though. Getting into a club became a status issue. Abba Johntaught us rivets, welds and joints. We easily caught up with joints to the nextsphere. Thermodynamics classes meant inexistence of supreme power. PPR classesmeant kurl-on. The phases changed our lives until the transformation was over.Tortures that began in phases continued till the end of our expedition incollege. Circular objects always remained a thing to ponder over. MetalExtraction classes meant a class to complete lab journals. Class- Students: 26,Students attending: 5, Attendance given: 26. Indeed undoubting the best guru wehad. Extraction exams always meant extracting answers from the text-book orneighbor’s sheet during the course of the test . Introduction to 1960 labswithout fans meant truly grueling. HOD lectures meant rules. Shata travellingto France and Mogha going down under were the highs of the year.
Junior year in college meant fear to excel. Stress-Strainwith polishing continued for the year as well. Metals of joining was all aboutthe possibilities. SBA had questions for 0.25 marks and anticipated one-pageanswer. Srini’s classes were only for learning about life and the archaeologyof Metallurgy. His famous statement about placement still rings in my head,“The Ultimate placement in life is to marry a rich girl and takeover her dad’sbusiness”. His infamous statements have made him famous. The famous incident of7 metals coughing up the entire powerless class is all worth an activity.Tortures and trauma continued. Kaiga trip via Gokarna brought rejuvenation.Uploaded pics on the social networking sites caused serious problems. Plans to Goa failed. The Loco- DON was the class-rowdy and behavedas one. Bihari and Sample were given the keys to our future by selecting themas the PC. The job-condition of the seniors was all glum giving us sleeplessnights. Elections for the final year happened and Loco DON got re-elected asthe class rowdy. His rowdiness never mattered though for he was the mostirregular of all that year.
Final year began on a superior note. Placements and admitswere the most frequently used subjects. It all began with two dishes of bheland sustained till the end of the year till most of us got a company to boastabout. For so we loved our teachers we were enforced to have the most number ofclasses. This year meant gal species splitting up. Two jockey gal friends splitup for reasons still unknown. MEA membership only meant tripping and hogging.The trip to NITTE meant food for all. Transformation of phases still continuedimbibing suicidal fever in students. Royal Stag classes were a mere formality.Every Monday same query was raised, “Do you want to continue with the subject?I can cancel it any time”. Jangyo has to go and tell him credit is what we areall looking for. Tech Seminars meant a bore-well. Projects are all recyclemaal. Srini left us and we missed his punches. It seemed UBK’s PhaseTransformation had maximum effect on Srini. He was unrecognizable after hislong leave. Attendance shortage was rewarded by homely phone calls. Fathers andMothers were begotten. Attendance shortage always meant you have ‘potted’ yourgrades. Letters were drafted to reduce grades in the examination. Chammach wasexclusively told, “You become coordinators in engi and inci but don’t know howto draft a letter”. Admits started flowing in. Chammach getting into LBS, Shatalanding in Germany to reviveghost of Max Planck and Mogha into Oxford.Placements meant Job- treats at Suraj. The biggest surprise came when Sardargated a 75 AIR after all his hard work and sleepless nights paid off. Hope thehard work he has been up to these days pays off. (By the time this gets printedhe would have triumphed). Hopefully Titan can finally have his parents. Sandy is finally gonnacount dollars and Shilpu is coding. Vedanta, Ispat and JSW took the bulk.
|Posted by Jacob Parackal on August 16, 2011 at 12:45 AM||comments (0)|
The Indian economy has shown a remarkable growth in the past two decades (at an average of more than 7%) after Dr. Manmohan Singh, finance minister 1991, liberalized the economy for Foreign Direct Investment to flow unreservedly into the country. Economist argue that the Indian economy being socialist capitalist and taking the best from both socialist and capitalist to generate maximum interest to the investors as well as to generate a social fulfilment. By taking no proper stand it has given birth to corruption, redtapism and bureaucracy. The India Inc has been fighting a lone battle against the government until now before Anna Hazare, a social activist took up the fight against corruption gathering society sentiments and public strength behind the cause. The way he carried out his campaign remains debatable but the cause is a golden one,
Institutional change government has to implement:
With the change of outlook from anti-business to pro-business the government has helped to brisk the growth of Indian economy. This economic reforms and governments attitude was just a opener resulting in huge demand for IT in India. Changes of attitude within the leaders of INDIA INC has led government to think about updating and introducing reforms to help Indian economy and the INDIA INC leadership to achieve their vision . Reformation for government starts in itself in terms of Political and institutional reform to fulfil India’s aspiration to be a superpower in an emerging multi-polar world. The question arises is India destined to be a potential super power forever?
Fight against Corruption: The lokpal bill is considered to be the shell noise for the battle against corruption. If INDIA INC has to progress and achieve the super power status, the government has to provide a bureaucracy free pro business environment. The robust Indian society needs to wake up and fight the battle against this very aspect.
Investments into manufacturing segments: The government has to now start shifting focus from the IT industry and move onto the manufacturing industry. Well one can say that the growth of Indian Economy has primarily being because of the IT industry and the major revenues coming from US. United States of America with a dementing economy has poised a threat to major economies in the world including India and INDIA INC with a depreciating dollar and a huge debt its time to rethink the prime focus.
Educational Institutional Change: The gross enrolment ratio is 14 percent at present; it will be 30 percent by 2020.India will have 45 million students eligible for colleges, putting economic pressure on government to establish more universities. The policies will need to be liberalized and International private players would have to be allowed. There have been talks with the world renowned universities like the Harvard and Cambridge to set up off campuses in India.
Legal reforms: The legal system has to be changed and made corruption free. If India has to achieve the dream, the legal reforms have to happen soon and made accessible to the common man.
Women empowerment: The Indian women once considered being dependent and homely is now changing. Reforms need to be carried out to encourage female education and decrease the drop out rates by further giving incentives. To achieve 60% effective labor force the reforms has to be carried out. With 33% women reservation in the parliament, the government is leading by example. With different schemes run by the state government to encourage female education like the Balika samridhi yojna, Kishori Shakti Yojna, mid-day meal schemes is helping in achieving the goal. With a woman running the country’s largest ruling political party and having a woman president should be the right time to look for a change.
With USA under a debt of over $2 trillion to China, and the latest figure showing the US treasury having only $72 billion in cash until the debt ceiling is increased, it wont be wrong to say, US has a long way to catch up. There is always a fear of China dumping half of US bonds causing the dollar to plummet giving a threat to the world economy. If China doesn’t dump and US increases its debt ceiling by printing more money, the USD will depreciate giving huge loses to China. One can conclude that two of the world’s largest economies are under a constant threat of falling apart leaving a huge opportunity for India to fill the gap if the reforms are carried out soon.
Institutional change INDA INC has to implement:
INDIA INC comes from a history where Indian economy was closed and INDIA INC developed in anti-business environment and once the economy opened up and FDI’s started flowing into the economy, they thrived. The advantage INDIA INC has is the availability of cheap skilled labour. Another biggest advantage the INDIA INC enjoyed during the global downturn was the availability of Dr. Manmohan Singh as the prime minister of the country. His economic control and reforms helped INDIA INC not to be badly affected by the global recession as other global companies did. Thankfully the banking sector hasn’t being totally liberalized as the US and the government keeps a check on the banking activities. On the negative side, it acts as a barrier for offshore trading to take place in the country,
Among the corporate governance changes that few companies have agreed to, according to the Associated Press:
Making sure that at least 60% of board members for any given company are from outsiders
Pay for additional training for board members to improve their role and not leave them just to be the board decision makers.
Give board members unimpeded access to employees which will provide them to use the real time information from employee to take any decision for the betterment of its governance.
Strengthening of disclosure norms for IPO’s.
Aftermath of banking crisis in US, the government has now tightened the grip on the activities of the various sectors and is keeping a keen eye on the governance and policies. The listed companies have to give a detailed balance sheet on the operating cost and its future budgets and plans. INDIA INC has been the front runner in implementing the changes required by the government and is focusing on the over all improvement of the country and its social improvement. It believes that the Indian rural base is a potential consumer base and is working for the improvement of their life style in purse of them becoming their future customers.
The culture of Indians goes back to Indus Valley civilization to the Mauryan period to colonization and finally post Independence period. During the Mauryan period, India was considered to be one of the super powers of the world and it was referred to as ‘golden bird’. The attitude of the country in unison should be towards working towards achieving the lost glory. The Indian youth should be encouraged to join the political governance and help in developing a country they want to live in. The attitude of Indian youth should change from ‘chalta hai’ (let go) to asking questions at what they feel is wrong. From being a suppressed middle class, they need to rise and revolt against any injustice and help reform the country,
With the future projections shown by Pricewaterhousecoopers it is clear that the Indian Economy will be the largest economy by the year 2050. China and Russia would fall cause of lack of youth population. When the Indian economy is totally based upon the progress of youth, the youth needs to wake up and start reforming the country.
|Posted by Jacob Parackal on July 15, 2010 at 4:53 PM||comments (0)|
A sense of déjà-vu cripples my thought when I sit down to write about my long lost school friends and their stupendous achievements they conquered in lyf. From engineers to doctors to journalist to CA’s to fashion apparel designers we had it all. We are even proud to swank about our batch producing or to produce an air force pilot.
We were born and destined to leave this place in clay. Only thing that remains among the denizens of the planet is how much have you been able to sway this world to your tunes or how much u have succeeded in captivating the imaginations of your so called friends. The one who succeeds in doing so leaves a long lasting hallucination in people’s mind even after they are gone… gone far off.. Memories are therefore bound to stay. Well some people tend to enter the history books but everyone is not ordained enough for some flow with the mass. Only dead fish goes with the flow. But the biggest accomplishment you achieve is how many people tend to wet their eyes on your departure and advent into the new world be it happiness or be it grief. Power and influence; the two words without which one can’t live. Success and excellence go hand in hand. Well to be honest if u excel u gotta be successful. I always believe each one is destined or are honed with special talent. How early he/she comes to know about the inborn or destined talent the person tends to boom in life for he would categorically excel in lyf. He just needs to whet it further. In lyf u would find friends who are mere parasites. They come into your lyf to suck up until u can offer and just move on. This people tend to be successful in lyf but the problem here is u just don’t have someone to glorify with you, with your success. But alas money can buy ’friends’ and you can live happily ever after. Well sometimes I envy such people. You gotta have an incandescent talent and that is to be a parasite. Well optimization of the most valuable resources is what we look at. The corporate looks at. Each day in life is introspection and retrospection. Each episode in life adds on to the vast and colossal experience in lyf. The numerous binges, jamboree or concomitant incidents make you ponder what lyf is all about. The talks and the happenings are all connected to lyf. Lyf is a mystery which pukes up surprises on a very daily basis. It’s the vast enormous experience that makes your lyf absorb the shock waves. And the best cushioning part is your friends, your old lost friends. What glory it is to get in touch with once lost friends and more importantly it’s a wonder feeling to know abt what they are doing in lyf.
This is sober mind writing and I am not gud wen I am abstemious. So I bring it to an end and do what I was asked to do: P: P
Well I would apologize if I have left out names in de list but u can add in as a comment and the list goes on:P
Doctors or to be doctors:
Dolly aka Arti
Hitarth – SIEMENS
Jino- L & T
Prateek Gupta - Freescale
Aadit – Bath
Pratik P : IIT Mum Project
& loads more… this is wat mah sober mind can recall
Ramya- rite now interning with Hindu
And finally the moment of utmost pride:
Ali to be soon Airforce pilot
|Posted by Jacob Parackal on June 22, 2010 at 2:38 AM||comments (0)|
NITK- A sonnet to life
Men’s life is like the four loyal seasons
Joy stays in their eyes at picturesque spring;
And as August’s summer warmth edges in
They enthused on to enjoy enchanting
company as brownish autumn appear;
Tho’ its sweet leaves fall ever so swiftly
To pace with life’s time that’s ever changing,
let moments never in stationary
So as life’s final season came to play
With cold flurry and lonely sentiments,
Let him sense love’s warm glorious display
And glimpses of poignant reminiscences.
That when eyes are closed for eternity
Thy presence be dignified legacy
As I sit back to recollect the years gone by, I cannot help but attribute the farrago of memories to the enormity of the experience. An easy perspective of chronology beckons me but my heart forces me to relive all those days as they cannot be shredded down to a bare collection of words. A gorgeous sense of déjà vu crawls over my memory and takes me back to July 2006.
And 2006 was when a bevy of worthy denizens tumbled down upon this universe. From a healthy collage of teenage behaviors and aspirations to the prosperity of BATCH OF 2010, the Golden Batch, the journey has wandered itself through limitless experiences.
Rains were lashing down this part of the world when NITK opened up its hallowed porticos and welcomed us with open arms. A coat of green against the cloudy silhouette that settled onto this campus on those initial days of our collective lives provided us with a perfect setting to embark upon our personal discoveries; and so we did it. ATB was Ground Zero. As professors and lecturers from various departments tried to flood our minds with their collective wisdom, some of us drifted away to more meaningful pursuits. As every facet of NITK life opened itself up to our great mental delight; a physical manifestation otherwise popularly known as “75% compulsory attendance” forced us into torment eight to five schedule. Chemistry labs and workshops, Engineering graphics and Professional Communication classes turned out to be intellectual fodder for a few and mental torture for others. Amidst the initial onslaught, as all of us came to terms with our individual capabilities and limitations, a nice symbiotic rhythm evolved and carried us forward.SJA events were on a rise and we as the fresher looked forward for an opportunity to meet the damsels of the college. A golden opportunity for the seniors to get the intros of the most flamboyant of the girls. Fresher took the chance to increase their social network. Dance workshops meant look-out for an obtainable partner. Meanwhile a unique experience called “Hostel Life” bestowed upon us as if an opiate had stoned our collective psyche into permanent submission. SNP and DC came to our rescue of the most edible rotis and the first block mysore mess. It was a war within one self. Block calls were increasing by the day which clearly meant hostel doors closed at 10. Back door exits were pondered upon and in no time second semester was coming to an end. It ended with whole sets of fresher parties. Before we could soak it up, first year of college life has sauntered away and the audacity of its soulful influence was to hold us together for the rest of our lives.
Second year dawned upon us as we braced for our very own “Departments”. Branch change was the initial buzz word all around and its most notable effect was an increase in the average GPA’s of IT and Mech as mining and meta was further depleted of their woefully small taskforce.7th Block became our abode which meant 3 in a room for a space of 2. Club Recruitment brought forward a season of frenzied activity and ultimately bestowed upon a privileged few of us, their oh-so-good name and cherished tasks (dragging benches and filling up the auditoriums). The NITK Webster was meanwhile shaping up and words like Bond, God, Stud, imba, da, lolax, load, ultra(and a few non-mentionable) were in vogue like anything. The horrible trio of Department Classes, Mess ration, and water shortage had by then forced us to surrender ourselves to their brute force and sustained intensity. Bombay Mess II added to the woes. SNP was now FC and DC bakery was no more. Junta was quick enough to discover the useful LAN and things like CS, DOTA and Netscan were a godsend. Fourth Semester started with a Big Bang as our departments decided to teach us the actual meaning of the phrase “Baptism by Fire”. As third sem results sent CGPA’s spiraling down the barrel; some of us were driven towards working harder while the majority of us were sent packing into academic oblivion and indifference. As the sophomore season came to an end, we had learnt how to survive the face of unrelenting adversities and could not wait up for the penultimate pillar of our constructive baptism to fall into place.
The evening saga of our journey was calm and sedate. Third year as opposed to its predecessors yet no less vibrant in its treatment of our mystified souls. 3rd and 4th Block was to be our den for the year. Magic taps came to our rescue. Every department was intent on brandishing its full might upon us but this was the time when the real “engineers” among us learnt the tricks of the trade. Internships and trainings were secured with gaudy ease. The greenery around the campus was slowly getting into a concrete jungle. As junta devoured sitcoms and movies not unlike a glutton treating himself to an aristocratic buffet, the night canteens could not dish out enough of the vada pavs and omelettes. Meanwhile people had passed over the mundane academic show to their collective subconscious and CAT, GRE and GATE were the recipes of the day. TIME ‘departmental store’ was in full demand and the starting milestone of our competitive journey was in sight. We soaked up the fine balance of studies and fun that arranged itself out for us in those days. Elections for the Final year happened this year for ‘they’ wanted to have ENGINEER the next semester. As our camaraderie grew by leaps and bounds during those exacting days, a sense of expectant fulfillment was lurking round the corner. We all were like props on a deserted stage, awaiting the entry of the principal actor who alone could give us the meaning once more.
The “last leg” of our sojourn-FINAL YEAR was upon us in a flash starting the journey as nomads from the 7th block to the newly constructed Mega Block and its much promised ‘characteristic immortality in our minds’ turned out to be spellbinding to the core. The first instance of that psychedelic effect was the “Placement” season. It promised us the most fruitful experience of our college life till date. As we set out on that road of professional fact-finding, we did nothing but assure ourselves about our inner abilities. We learnt how to market ourselves to the corporate on campus. Companies and organizations came and went by and every night was a celebration-a celebration of success, a celebration of life. The journey from mutual concern and agony to collective success was immensely satisfying. Throughout the length of our shared escapades, we discovered each other once again-our strength, our weaknesses. As curricular concerns were completely forgotten in a frenzy of ‘Appling’ to universities and sitting for numerous entrance tests the famed ‘final year life’ dawned upon us. Junta went in for outdoor activities owing to the lack of LAN and Internet in the new block. No generator back-up meant recurrent trips to the hostel terrace. Attendance fell to 25 %. Project report submissions, to seminars and presentations- everything contributed to an inspiring collage of individual experience for each of us. Calls from choicest of Indian and Foreign universities wait up and the best days of our college have wafted past us like a delicate fragrance before we could cherish its aroma.
The last few days of our entwined lives are upon us. One cannot help but look back at these four years and marvel at their richness. As we prepare for the vagaries of the dirty adult world, we know we are ready. We don’t know what crushes us more- the power that crushes us or our endless ability to endure it, the endless memories or the knowledge that they cannot be relived. Coffee at Krishna’s and ‘chuskis’ at Pehlwan, those innumerable tobacco-sticks and Double bread omelet, endless intellectual banter and nonchalant musings-Everything contributed to an indelible mark on our lives- a sonnet to this microcosmic world, a sonnet to the Indian way of life. The only thing is it wasn’t just 14 lines.
At the NITK Beach, as the great milky wheel of stars rises wet and shivering from the waves every beautiful evening and the gibbous moon settles on the sea, we cannot help but marvel at it being a perfect analogy to our college life. As they say…
Walk the road and be bold
A walk to remember when you are old.
That’s what NITK meant to all of us- A CELEBRATION
|Posted by Jacob Parackal on March 28, 2010 at 11:38 PM||comments (0)|
Cricket, Politics and Movies have been the biggest newsmakers in our country. Every Indian is an expert of at least one of these topics, and the enjoyment that he or she derives from discussing them is paralleled only by the enjoyment derived from sex. And by these standards, in the last one month or so, Indians have indulged in mass orgy. Cricket was our foreplay, Politics was our sexual intercourse, and a Movie gave us the orgasm.
Now what do you do after having a satisfying session of sex? If you are selfish, you straightaway go to sleep. If you are sensual, you hold on and talk to your partner. So let’s talk how it was.
Let’s go back to the foreplay.
Foreplay has the elements of mystery and imagination in it. You might have known your partner for years, but you tend to touch him/her as if you are trying to explore something that was hitherto unknown to you. You might have kissed those lips a thousand times, but you have to feel a new taste every time. You have to use your imagination to make it happen. IPL auctions provided this element of mystery and imagination.
IPL auctions took place for cricketers to be sold (such a dignified achievement for a modern cricketer; apparently, as per the IPL rules, a player can’t negotiate his own contract amount, the franchisees must arrive at it among themselves. This was never deemed as ‘snub’ by any player). No Pakistani cricketer was sold. It was called IPL snub (sounds like snug – an ingredient of foreplay – okay; that was a PJ).
And it remains a mystery why it happened. Was it a pure business decision by the franchisees? Was there any Government pressure to do so? Was there any conspiracy by Lalit Modi against Pakistanis? Was there any conspiracy against Lalit Modi by Congress? Unanswered questions adding to the mystery.
And this mystery gave birth to vivid imaginations. Sohail Tanvir imagined that Hinduon ki zeheniyat hi aisi hoti hai (Hindus are deceitful and disrespectful by character). Our Home Minister imagined that Indian fans were the greatest lovers of Pakistani cricketers. Pakistani Home Minister imagined a planned revenge snub. Shah Rukh Khan imagined that Pakistan was a great neighbor to have. India was turned on.
Personally, I have no idea what was this whole IPL snub all about. All the unanswered questions listed above seem distinct possibilities to me. Seems like this whole IPL episode, which I am calling foreplay, was so good that I just enjoyed it with my eyes closed.
But Shiv Sena had their eyes open.
They had been looking for a partner for a long time. They courted Sachin Tendulkar. No response. They courted Mukesh Ambani. Again no response. They would have been heartbroken and hollering like this little kid seen here in this video, whose advances were blatantly ignored by a little girl just the same way as Tendulkar and Ambani ignored Sena’s feelers. But they decided to test the ‘third time lucky’ theory.
They decided to court Rahul Gandhi. And voila! Rahul responded, although he snubbed them. But we have just seen that how a snub had turned on a whole nation, rather a whole subcontinent just a few days back. Rahul’s snub turned Shiv Sena on. Last time they had to break office of a news channel to turn themselves on. Hungry and horny, now they needed a partner for intercourse. They courted Shah Rukh Khan.
If Shah Rukh Khan would have joined the rank of Tendulkar and Ambani and proved to be the third idiot in Shiv Sena’s eyes, he’d have rendered Shiv Sena as the Chatur Ramalingam (selfish, conservative, and revengeful) in the rest of the India’s eyes. But Shah Rukh Khan was not out there to promote 3 Idiots. His agenda was My Name Is Khan.
SRK had the demand, Shiv Sena had the supply. The twain met.
(At this point, let me make it clear – I’m not hinting at any pre-planned conspiracy hatched by SRK and Shiv Sena. I believe that SRK’s sentence on Pakistani players’ inclusion in the IPL was not aimed at garnering publicity for his movie. But once Shiv Sena gave him an opportunity to do so, he didn’t let it go.
That’s why Karan Johar, who had sprinted to Raj Thackeray to apologize for mentioning Mumbai as Bombay in Wake Up Sid, thought that freedom of speech was of paramount importance. And Shah Rukh Khan, who had, without much ado, changed the title of his movie Billu Barber after protests by some hairdressers, insisted that he didn’t need to change even a single word of his original statement.)
After foreplay, India was progressing towards intercourse.
Intercourse has the elements of dominion and passion. It’s best enjoyed when both the partners take turn to dominate, with the other one playing the submissive role at that moment. Whatever role you play, there has to be a passion in the act. India saw both of these elements in SRK-Shiv Sena standoff.
Shiv Sena took the dominant role in this political intercourse; they love being on top, don’t they? Shah Rukh Khan played along with passion; not submissive, yet not dominant. But to make this intercourse enjoyable and perfect, Shiv Sena needed to be dominated. And hence media and self-styled pro-democracy activists joined in, while voyeurs like me looked on.
The intercourse was just perfect. There was mass moaning and groaning on twitter. There were love bites with Shiv Sena biting off movie posters. And the media discovered the G-spot – cinema halls, which must be reached to achieve orgasm.
Going to a cinema hall to buy and brandish a movie ticket became the symbol of democracy and free speech. It was surely better than joining a facebook community to feed a hungry child or forwarding a chain mail to help a cancer patient. But not any better than buying a Durex condom on Valentine’s Day to oppose moral police (a campaign that has not yet taken off, but if it happens, Durex guys had better pay me for this idea).
But who cares about strictness and exactness of a kamasutra position while sweating with a partner in the bed. We were so busy with the intercourse that we couldn’t even hear a gunshot fired to kill a lawyer defending a Mumbai terror attack accused.
(Before the patriotic types point out that the lawyer himself had a dubious past and was once detained for anti-national activities and hence deserved to be killed, let me tell them to Shut Up – just like SRK had told those ‘sickos’ who hinted at him being hand in glove with Shiv Sena, and like Asif Ali Zardari had told an inattentive student during a public rally.
Anyone, who doesn’t violate the constitution of India, and in fact makes it the basis of his or her arguments (which a lawyer is supposed to do), must be protected (more than release of a movie) for the sake of democracy. If a lawyer is able to release a terrorist, the solution is not to shoot dead the lawyer, but to create stricter laws. Yes, the patriotic types can now point out that Gujarat’s stricter anti-terror law was shot down by the UPA government.)
Not only the gunshot, we went deaf and blind to various other stuffs going outside our bedroom as we twisted and twirled during the intercourse. Rising prices, crores of cash in IAS officers’ houses (by the way, where is Madhu Koda these days?), alleged political protection to an arrested terrorist, and many other things that a fake journalist like me might not even know – they became irrelevant as we tried to achieve a perfect orgasm.
Stimulated by media, the moment of orgasm did arrive.
I won’t try to enlist the elements of orgasm. You can’t define it, you have to experience it. I thought the nation experienced it when the first lot of movie goers came (out), and declared to the waiting reporters outside, “it was awesome”.
My Name Is Khan was superhit, the battle for democracy was won, and the orgy had ended.
So, thanks for holding on and talking. It was nice, but it could have been much better, much sensual, and much more meaningful. Next time, maybe?
|Posted by Jacob Parackal on February 8, 2010 at 1:43 PM||comments (0)|
My Name is khan
Movie Review: My Name is Khan
MY NAME IS KHAN makes two strong statements...
The first: B.C. [before Christ] and A.D. [after death] are designations used to label years in the Julian and Gregorian calendars. There's a third designation now - 9/11. Post September 11, the world stands divided. Terrorist outfits continue to strike in the name of religion and the common man, not even remotely associated with these groups, is bearing the brunt. The world is not a safe place anymore.
The second statement: There're two sets of people in this world - the good and the bad. No matter how strong the evil forces are, good always triumphs.
MY NAME IS KHAN mirrors the era we live in. Not a day goes by when you haven't heard/read/watched news of terror attacks and innocents being killed. We live in turbulent times. Also, the movie states - and states very strongly, without mincing words - Not all Muslims are terrorists.
Karan Johar's cinema got more real from KABHI ALVIDA NAA KEHNA onwards. In MY NAME IS KHAN, the storyteller attempts to make a social statement and succeeds completely. At the same time, it takes no sides. If the protagonist says 'My name is Khan and I am not a terrorist', it also exposes those who misadvise the youth with inflammatory and rabble-rousing speeches.
Karan's take on the issue deserves the highest praise, since a subject like this is difficult to attempt. Final word? MY NAME IS KHAN is Karan, SRK and Kajol's best outing to date. Do I need to add anything more?
Rizvan Khan [Shah Rukh Khan moves to San Francisco and lives with his brother [Jimmy Shergill] and sister-in-law [Sonya Jehan]. Rizvan, who has Asperger's syndrome, falls in love with Mandira [Kajol]. Despite protests from his brother, they get married and start a small business together. They are happy until September 11, when attitudes towards Muslims undergo a sea-change.
When tragedy strikes, Mandira is devastated and they split. Rizvan is confused and upset that the love of his life has left him. To win her back, he embarks on a touching and inspiring journey across America.
Let me alert you. The story unfolds feverishly from the very start itself. So if you miss a scene or two, chances are you would've missed some vital links in the story. The fact is, there's too much happening in the first half. Although the narrative tends to get leisurely-paced at times, the wheels continue to move from one episode to another.
A number of sequences are endearing. For instance, the romance between SRK and Kajol is subtle, yet charming. But it's SRK's relationship with Kajol and their kid that's one of the best parts of the movie. Your heart bleeds when an accident occurs and their lives are torn apart. Kajol's outburst - first, when her son meets with a catastrophe and second, when she confronts SRK - are truly shattering.
MY NAME IS KHAN's strength lies in the fact that you root for Khan all through. At the same time, you are weighed down when he's in a vulnerable situation, especially when he's labelled a terrorist and thrown behind bars. You don't realize it, but the fact is that you, as a spectator, have already got entwined in Rizvan and Mandira's lives.
There's a slight hitch in the second hour, when SRK returns to Georgia to save a hurricane-ravaged hamlet. Also, the media exercise tends to add to the length of the film. Nonetheless, it's a minor hiccup that doesn't rob the film of its punch.
There's just one word to illustrate Karan's direction - exemplary. One of the finest storytellers of our generation, he deserves brownie points for deviating from 'Karan Johar brand of cinema' and attempting a film that knocks on your heart and stimulates your mind. With MY NAME IS KHAN, Karan takes rapid strides as a storyteller.
Shibani Bathija's screenplay is truly arresting. Shibani and Niranjan Iyengar's dialogues are noteworthy and at times, applaud-worthy. Ravi K. Chandran's cinematography is awe-inspiring. Shankar-Ehsaan-Loy's music gels well with the nature of the film.
When a film stars two of the finest talents of the country, you expect nothing but the best. SRK, well, how does one describe his performance? To state that this is his best work so far would be cutting short the praise he truly deserves. In fact, no amount of praise can do sufficient justice to his portrayal of Rizvan Khan, who has Asperger's syndrome. His latest work is several notches above anything he has done before. The only compliment that I can think of is, SRK has a new screen-name now. Raj is passe, Rizvan it is.
Kajol is pure dynamite and casting her for this character was the most appropriate decision. No other actress could've matched SRK in histrionics the way Kajol has. In fact, SRK and Kajol compliment each other wonderfully well and this film only proves it yet again. It's a powerhouse performance from this supremely talented actress.
The film boasts of a number of capable actors, but the ones who leave a rock-solid impact are - in this order - Zarina Wahab, Sonya Jehan, Jimmy Shergill, Arjun Mathur, Parvin Dabas and Arif Zakaria. Sugandha Garg is confident. Navneet Nishan supports well. Vinay Pathak leaves a mark in a brief role. Tanay Chheda [young SRK] and Yuvaan Makaar [SRK and Kajol's son Sameer] are excellent. The American actors, especially the kid who plays Sameer's friend, deserves mention.
On the whole, MY NAME IS KHAN is a fascinating love story, has an angle of religion and a world-shaking incident as a backdrop. It not only entertains, but also mesmerises, enthrals and captivates the viewer in those 2.40 hours. At the same time, a film like MY NAME IS KHAN is sure to have a far-reaching influence due to its noble theme. I strongly advocate, don't miss this one!